What a Grieving Child Wants
I want someone who will listen to me when I speak and not tell me that what I’m saying is wrong or that I shouldn’t be feeling what I feel.
I want someone who will talk to me, honestly and with compassion. I don’t want to be talked at or ignored.
I want people to understand that I, along with my parents and other family members, have lost someone I love very much.
I don’t want my pain compared to my mother’s or father’s. You may think they feel worse than I do, but unless you are me today, going through this terrible nightmare, you don’t know how I feel.
I want my teachers to understand that even though it may not seem like it, I am doing the best I can. It’s hard for me to focus on schoolwork or anything else right now. But how can I tell you about my sorrow and fears and confusion, when I’m not sure myself what’s going on.
I want someone to look me in the eye when they speak to me.
I don’t want anyone telling me I have to be strong for my mother, father, sisters, brothers, or anyone else. I don’t know what that means. Are you telling me I shouldn’t cry? Are you telling me I shouldn’t feel? When someone so important to me has died, what does being strong mean?
I want someone to tell me what it is like to grieve. I want someone who will help me understand what this is and if I will survive.
I want to talk to someone my own age so that I will know I am not the only one and that I will survive.
And most of all, I want your unconditional love, compassion, understanding, and patience.
©Virginia A. Simpson, Ph.D., CT, 12/12/02
If you are considering a Bereavement Care Specialist and you are located in the greater sacramento area, Dr. Virginia Simpson is here to help. Dr. Virginia Simpson, the Bereavement Care Specialist services Sacramento, Roseville, Loomis, Rocklin, Lincoln, Folsom, Fair Oaks, Citrus Heights El Dorado Hills and down to Vacaville, Fairfield, Davis, Woodland, and beyond.